I was walking down our hallway the other day and stopped to look at my maternity photos from my first pregnancy. I mean, look at me up there. How refreshed and blissfully unaware of what was to come do I look? 🙂 So much has happened since then and I couldn’t help but reflect on how different being pregnant this time is than the first.
First, I’ve felt so much more tired this time. I thought I had just forgotten how tired I was the first time around. I also thought that I was feeling more tired because the gender is different than the first. These two things might be true, but I think the most likely reason is that for so many hours a day I’m either chasing my toddler or trying to do things around the house with him attached to my legs.
I love playing with him so I’ve been trying to make small tweaks here and there, like playing while sitting. But that doesn’t always jive well with my toddler’s opinions. Just a couple weeks ago, he was listening to the Star Wards theme song and holding his mini Millennium Falcon and X-wing fighters and flying them around. By the way, he hasn’t seen the movies yet, but has somehow become obsessed anyway. It seems like you reach an age where boys just do. So anyway, he asked me to play Star Wars with him. In an attempt to stay off my feet, I sat on the floor, legs crossed, and picked up the mini Tye fighters to play. I was quickly told “No mommy, you have to stand up. See, you pick them up with your hands, hold them facing this way, and walk around and follow me…” It’s moments like these when I am both completely impressed by what he can say and completely exhausted at the same time.
Second, I felt much more glamorous with the first. With the first, I was lucky. I didn’t experience too much nausea and felt good most of my pregnancy. I remember being really fascinated and consumed by the miracle of it all and all the amazing things my body was doing at each stage. I was also four years younger and much more rested. So that helped too. Because I felt so lovely, I was very pleased with my hubby who helped me take pictures each week. It was always a funny twenty minutes of me trying to get the poses I wanted and asking him to retake from more flattering angles. During this pregnancy, I still have moments where I can’t help but be in awe of the extraordinary process of birth. But mostly I’ve just noticed that I got bigger much quicker this time around. We’ve taken a few random pics, but just the thought of spending twenty minutes each week makes me exhausted. And frankly, my beautiful belly doesn’t feel quite as divine when I’m bending over to clean the huge poop my toddler left in the potty chair. So there’s that.
Third, during my first pregnancy, I was much more in tune to how many weeks I was. My hubby and I read about our first pregnancy every week during the first. We had a few books and would spend a little time in bed going over ‘what to expect’. I also diligently read all the weekly email updates I received about the baby’s size and I remember my hubby and I being so excited for those. This time we haven’t picked up a single book. And while I still enjoy receiving the emails, it’s mostly because they remind me what week it is. It’s 30 weeks now, right??
Fourth, taking care of my health, diet, and exercise is different. I remember spending a lot of time thinking about what I was eating and being very conscious of every item that was safe. I remember the first time I pulled up an article on my phone about what I couldn’t have and being shocked at all the things I should try and avoid. But I was like ok, let’s do this! During this pregnancy, I wouldn’t say I was lax. But at the beginning, I thought I remembered everything I had to avoid. And then I kept eating something and being like Oops! I shouldn’t eat that again. I definitely was on the right track after a couple months. But I don’t have quite as much time to make sure every meal is full of pregnancy superfood. Most meals I’m just trying to make sure I eat before our toddler starts picking from my plate.
During the first pregnancy, I also thought a lot more about my exercise routine like “When I should switch from my regular yoga to prenatal yoga?”. And making a very conscious decision to be as active as I could. This time around, I haven’t taken a single yoga class. Instead, I have definitely preferred sleeping. I have continued to take some long walks and do some stretching. But I really really really like sleeping when I can.
With the first, I only got a mild cold once. But this pregnancy…oh man. Anyone who has kids knows it is a little harder to quarantine yourself when your little one is bound to bring home every germ and virus from school. Over the course of the last 3 months, I’ve had the flu, food poisoning (for ~10 days), and the stomach flu. Needless to say, it’s been a bit rough.
Fifth and finally, I focused a LOT on how the birth process was going to go the first time. Like “Do I want a detailed birth plan”? “Do I want a doula”? “What if they need a vacuum?” “What are the breathing techniques”? “When do I start pushing again?” And with all that focus on birth, I didn’t think as much about what actually comes after…like what taking a care of a baby really means, how hard breastfeeding can be, and how difficult all of it would be during my recovery period.
Now knowing that what happens after is much trickier, the birth seems like the easy part. I do plan to do a little refresh on the basics, but I’m much more focused on ways to make those first few months with my infant more manageable.
With all the above being said, the really wonderful thing is that I also know how surreal it will feel to hold our little one for the first time and how my heart will be absolutely bursting with joy. That experience makes it all worth it. And even though I know that having our second baby will bring another new definition of busy and tired, there’s comfort in knowing that we’ll figure it all out again. Just like we did the first time.
As always, thanks for reading friends! And a special shoutout to our amazing friend and photographer Lee Brown who took these photos AND some new maternity photos that I look forward to sharing soon. If you live in the Bay Area, I highly recommend scheduling a family photo session with her. She’s not only incredibly talented, but also one of the coolest mommies around (mommy of 3!).
