Being a mom is amazing, life-changing, wonderful, and also maybe the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Any mom can tell you that sometimes you only feel understood by the moms battling the same stages of motherhood at the same time. It’s so important to find your own little community of mommies to exchange ideas with, to celebrate your triumphs with, to bond with over those inevitable low points, and to straight up assure you that you’re not going insane.
This Mother’s Day, in addition to the special moms in my family, I’m also celebrating my entire mom squad. I don’t know what I’d do without them! And since I’ll soon be welcoming baby #2, I know I’ll need them all more than ever.
In celebration of all moms and moms-to-be, I thought it would be fun to share testimonials of motherhood from some of my favorite mamas, all of which have two or more children under the age of five. I asked them three questions and absolutely loved hearing and reading their beautifully candid responses.
I hope you enjoy their words as much as I did. And if you’re a new mom or mom-to-be, I wish you so much love as you go through your own journey with motherhood. Surround yourself with your own little mom squad and know that there is always help if you ask.
What has being a mom taught you?
- To be more patient. I already was an impatient person and easy to criticize myself. Becoming a mom humbled me on how many mistakes I would make and to forgive myself for them.
- I am capable of more than I ever thought!
- To appreciate the small things and let go of the petty stuff. To be more present and in the moment.
- So many things!!! More so my kids have taught me so many things like how to find the joy in the littlest things, how to really be patient, resilient, and strong. I don’t think I have ever laughed and cried harder in my life until I became a mom. They are the ones who force me to slow down, enjoy the little things, and just LOVE.
- I have always been proud of how easy going and calm I am. I don’t generally have an opinion on where to eat out and am not bothered by some dished in the sink, so I considered myself ‘chill’. And then I had a baby and my inner crazy escaped. Turns out, I am far from easy going. I am a major worrier, which I kind of knew, but it has escalated to a whole new level. My ability to see the potential for death in almost all scenarios: climbing the dome thing at the playground, taking big bites while eating lunch, etc. has really fueled this change in my personality from easy breezy to crazy town. My poor husband.
How do you balance everything?
- I just try to roll with it all, pick my battles and ask for help. I don’t know what I would do without my husband, family, and friends- and they all know I’m not shy about delegating/asking for help. My core self is a detail oriented person and can get stuck in the details of what needs to get done which is when I get overwhelmed (at work, home, family, etc.). When I feel that way I try my best to pause and think what’s the most important thing I need to be doing and pull myself into big picture mindset. The rest of the things hopefully will fall into place in time.
- Hahaha! I don’t and cannot balance anything. There is NO way to do it ALL. I just try my hardest to be in the moment with my kids and remind myself how lucky I am to be a mom. So many desire and try so hard to be a mom and cannot for so many reasons. So I try my best to forget about my ‘to do’ list when I’m with them, and soak up every moment. Everyone tells you it goes too fast, and it totally does. Soon they will not need you to feed them, you won’t rock them to sleep, or hold them asleep in your arms…And you won’t even realize when it’s the last time you hold them on your hip, or feed your baby to sleep, they ask for a hug, come into your room for cuddles, etc. In the craziness of being a parent, I try my hardest to remember to cherish every moment even when they are all screaming and crying at the same time.
- To do the best I can. I try not to commit to more than I can handle so if that means saying no to things, that’s ok! Balance is the key word! Be thoughtful about taking time for yourself. To be the best mom, you need some time away.
- Working from home can be hard because you always feel ‘on’. I have tried to close my computer and truly focus on my boys when they are home. Work will always be there. I don’t want to miss precious moments with my kids or ever give them the impression that work is more important at that time.
- Ask for help! Moms are superstars, but we can’t do it all alone. Even as a single mom, I realized it’s ok to ask for help or say no to things.
- Balance is something I’m still working on. We recently added a third child in the mix so I’m not sure that balance will be joining me anytime soon. However, I have a weekly babysitter who comes for three hours every Thursday morning, and having that break during the week to head to the nearest Starbucks and really focus on my work has made a huge difference. Additionally, you can find me on the couch every night until 11pm, with my laptop open half watching whatever the Netflix du jour is while editing photos and responding to emails.
What advice do you have for a new mom?
- Try to EnJOY your child. The days can be long and a little rough, but the years fly by. Take a moment because they will only be this small once.
- Trust your mama instincts. Everyone around you will have opinions about what your kid should eat, how they behave, if they’re acting normal, and especially how you parent. As hard as it can be sometimes, remember that NO ONE knows your babies like you do! Trust your mama instincts, and remember no one knows and loves your kids more than you do.
- Forgive yourself. For me, there are days where I feel like I’ve done the wrong thing or I lose it. Being a mama is tough s**t. We all make mistakes, but know that every minute of every day is a new one so you can restart anytime.
- Take time for yourself, your partner, your friends, and whatever makes you happy and recharges you. No matter how much we love our kids, we all need time to recharge. So as you’re figuring out motherhood, be sure to take time to also figure out what you need. Communicate it with your partner, loved ones, etc. so that you can take the time to do what you need to do so that you love yourself. If you take care of and love yourself, you will be a happier and healthier mom for your kids. And let people help you do that. Most likely many people are dying to help and get the opportunity to love on your adorable kids. Let them so that you are heppy too. Plus it’s an amazing thing to watch your kids bond with others, especially with those you love.
- Trust yourself and listen to your own heart, mind, and body. You’re one AMAZING MAMA!
- Enjoy every moment, even when you’re up at 3am feeding. It goes by so fast and one day you will look back and miss those precious bonding moments.
- Don’t compare your baby or approach to being a mom to anyone else. Every baby is different and every mom has a different opinion for how things should be. Do what works for you and your baby. When someone gives you an opinion for how to parent, listen to them but remember that you know your child the best.
- It’s ok to cry. It may be overwhelming but don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t stress about the small stuff (the house will be dirty and that’s ok). Laugh! Sometimes that makes it all better.
- Email your doctor; don’t Google and get help! I know it seems like no one else can care for your children the way you can, and that’s true, but they can certainly keep them alive while you gain some sanity. I love my children most when I’ve had the opportunity to miss them.
- BEST advice a dear friend of mine said (and then ironically I was told it again by a woman partner at work) – Be kind to yourself. Such simple words and I’ve used it as a mantra when things are tough and it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Be kind to yourself.
Thanks for reading friends! And a HUGE thanks to the mamas who contributed to this post. Love you ladies so much!
Valerie